In the Borders of Our Life...

I am re-publishing this piece of writing, as a blog, years after it was awarded a prize in "Soul Space" in the Deccan Chronicle.

Last month my middle aged father died unexpectedly. He was an excellent doctor but could not get adequate attention in his time of need. When I saw his body after his death, he looked calm and peaceful, as if in a deep slumber. He looked strong, healthy, glowing, and almost divine. I presumed he was comfortable in his new-found abode which in turn explained the beatific expression on his face.

After the initial shock of gross betrayal, separation and untold emptiness which my father’s death left me with, I started wondering about his where-abouts after death. That was when I read about the soul’s tendency to migrate from bodies in a book called The Journey of Self Discovery by Swami Prabhupaada. According to it, death meant only the death of the physical ¬– a body which we nurture lovingly all our life. This body gives us an identity, a name and a face. Our reluctance to die is akin to our reluctance to changing the house in which we have treasured sweet childhood memories. So, only my father’s body has perished. His soul was still alive. When I discovered this eternal truth I found consolation for my suffering.

But, what is suffering? It is only a state of mind. The Bhagawad Gita calls the diseases of the body or mental disturbances as adhyatmika miseries. We, the humans, are destined to suffer all our life because we live in a material world. The whole idea of living is trying constantly to get out of this suffering. We are like fish swimming in the water of suffering. We break the surface of water once in a while to experience some relief. We are ignorant of the fact that our suffering ends only when our spirit mingles with God. It is only then that we attain true happiness.

Life and death are two faces of the same coin. A newborn baby enters this world reluctant to take its first breath, and a dying man leaves this word reluctant to take his last.

The difference between living life and leaving life is so narrow that it almost blurs the margins. It is in this margin that a man can experience the beauty of God. Watching a baby being born or a man breathing his last fills us with untold emotions because we are in the presence of the pure soul – the incarnation of God himself. The experience can renew us; cleanse our hearts and our thoughts. It is a religious experience that is not limited to any single faith. With every life there is a promise of death, and with every death there is a possibility of new life. It is life in death and death in life. All material attributes dwindle in their Holy Presence.

All the religions of the world give utmost importance to life after death. A little child who has taken life only a few years back, and the very old who is just few years behind death are both looked upon with great reverence. We can see divinity, innocence and purity in their behavior. The beauty of the old lies in their wrinkled skins, toothless smiles, silvered hair and the lisp in their speech. Both birth and death are followed by lengthy ceremonies. As a child’s life de-tangles from the Eternal to live as in a birth, the soul unburdens itself from the body to mingle with the Supreme Spirit in death.

In both cases, the soul is an aspect of God to mingle with Him sooner or later, as the case maybe. But if the soul is an invisible thing, what is God?

God is a luminary body made up of millions of souls and has no actual form. If each soul is a firefly then God, who is a collection of millions of these fireflies, is a powerful, limitless form of light energy which we cannot bear to see with our eyes. We can only experience Him.

Man has always been fascinated by the “Beyond Life” and “Beyond Death” question. Some people claim to have experienced a supreme spiritual feeling when they encountered a near-death experience. Some others felt the aura of that “extra” life when they came in contact with saints.

A saint is no ordinary man. He sees life as a passing phase. He has no relationships, no emotions, no ego, no ties with other humans. He owns nothing and craves for God so much that he awaits an early end to his physical self. Material things mean nothing to him. Saints like Jesus Christ and Sai Baba of Shirdi are said to have transcended death and achieved oneness with God even before their actual death. Both were supposed to have died for three days before coming back to life or being resurrected again. They experienced the power of God and received the “after-death” knowledge. This transmigration of the soul also happens to us but only after death. Souls have no bodies and hence, no death. They exist forever.

I dream of my father’s presence in our family sometimes. It is because I recognize his soul. I strongly believe his soul has mingled with God in peace, though he still lives within us. I am one version of him, my brother another. I embody his creative and mental aspects in my temperament and reflexes. My brother is his splitting image. As his progeny, we feel privileged to carry on his life in us, after his death. Somewhere, deep inside, very secretly, we have a faint feeling that his soul will guide us through life’s maze…silently.