Everyday we see thousands of faces in the crowds. We mingle with hundreds of them. Interact with tens of them. And actually connect with a handful. Most connections last a few seconds while some last a few minutes. Among my bookmarked connections, first on the list is my husband, though strangely we have network problems. I don't get a chance to speak with my husband even 10 sentences a day, sometimes. There were times when I really wanted to express immense joy and I got a curt "I will call you in 10 minutes". And I waited for half a day for his 10 minutes to get over. I felt hurt, impatient sometimes angry with myself. Now there are so many unspoken books between us, that I have my own library. I just have to go to rack number, get the year number right, and refer to volume number, chapter number, page number and paragraph number, and I can get the same highlighted lines repeat in all my books," We are living like two strangers sleeping under one ceiling fan, with no time with and for each other. We don't listen to each other anymore we only hear. We don't speak with each other any more, we merely talk. We have adapted to a new busy lifestyle where we placed each other at two far ends of a spectrum and live like robots, mechanically. Sometimes I forget when it was the last time that we really enjoyed the simple things in life which we enjoyed, like each others' company. I still long for some true good days with each other like simply lazing under the canopy of a huge tree on a hot afternoon, cooking up a meal together, talk endlessly about our childhood and youth, so much more... Once in a while, I just see a frightening picture of myself involved in a car crash and pray that such things don't happen. Because I feel that I have invested so much of my time in child rearing that I have still so many things to do with him. What will he do, God forbid, if I suddenly disappear from his life? - "Give me a few minutes of your time simply to sit together even if we don't really have great decisions to take in life....Are you listening to me, or watching the T.V. as you read this?'
2 comments:
I always get visions of having a heart attack at the wheel while driving or imaging a earth quake occurring all the time...
The day I posted this link to his office mail id, hubby was waiting for me at home, staring at him on his laptop was this post. I smiled sheepishly and he made me sit near him. So, tell me all that you want to say. To which I laughed and ran away. Women are such strange creatures!!! What was I expecting?
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